Motherhood

Today on my very first Mother’s Day as a new Mom, I have been thinking about what life was like BC (Before Charlotte).  Before Charlotte, life was easier.  I could sleep in til 11 on the weekends, stay out late on Saturday nights, go on shopping sprees and dream about becoming the next Britney Spears.  Before Charlotte I could watch all my favorite TV shows in ONE sitting, instead of spreading them out on DVR to catch 5 minutes of last week’s Oprah episode before having to feed, or play or do the never ending laundry.  Before Charlotte I would lay in bed worrying about how I was ever going to fit in all my plans for the weekend without hurting anyone’s feelings…when now I lay awake worrying about why she won’t take a bottle anymore, or if I played with her enough during the day, or if I should go in and make sure she doesn’t need a blanket in the middle of the night.  Before Charlotte I certainly worried often, but usually about myself, and usually about the wrong things. 

Growing up, I never thought I WOULDN’T have children, but I certainly wasn’t in a hurry to have any anytime soon.  I even went through a few years in high school where I was absolutely NOT carrying and giving birth to my own child and would obsess over International Adoption, writing essays about it, doing research.  Determined to someday adopt my own child.  So having my own baby was certainly not in the forefront of my hopes and dreams.  This of course has all changed since finding out I would become a Mother.

7.5 months after Charlotte has come into our lives, I can honestly say I can’t imagine not having her here.  Life Before Charlotte seems like a distant blurry memory, and we have so much more to look forward to.  On this Mother’s Day, I appreciate my own Mother more than I ever thought I would.  I admire her courage to raise 4 children, stay at home AND be able to work on the side to help provide for us.  To get us all dressed and ready for church—that in ITSELF is a task I cannot imagine (it is hard enough for me to get one together).  It is my own Mom’s example that has taught me more than any book on how to be the best Mother I can possibly be.

 Having a child, you have to make sacrifices that aren’t always fun.  There are no more late nights, no more late mornings, and never enough time in the day to get everything “done.”  Not much “me time” or friend time.  But I wouldn’t change one single thing.  Charlotte Grace has made me a mother, and I hope I can teach her to be her best self, each and every day of her life.  To be humble and gracious.  To be joyful and loving.  To work hard, but have fun and enjoy the little things in life.  To trust in God first and foremost and be strong in her faith. To become the woman I am still striving to be everyday. 

Happy Mother’s Day to all the amazing Mommies out there.  I know first hand how hard and incredibly important of a job it is, and I admire each and every one of you.