Hi there Pearls to Pampers readers! I’m Sarah of Saturday’s Story and a reconnected high school acquaintance turned real life blogger friend of Kendall’s. My husband Lee and I are expecting our first baby in early December of this year…NYC urban parenthood, here we come! Here’s a little glimpse into my psyche these days in preparation for our transformation from a family duo to trio:
I’ve often felt like I live my life in chapterized chunks. High school and college were natural time frames bound by the institutions themselves, my first year in NYC so drastically whirlwind-ish in its own right, the “year of the wedding” planning craze equivalent to heightened emotions to the nth degree, etc., etc. Alas, growing a child has started a novel of its own. As I come to (almost) the halfway mark of my first pregnancy, I’m prone to daydreaming on a daily basis of how far we’ve come in this unique journey and the amazing prize that lies ahead. (Those first trimester scares bound us more deeply in love with our little one and to each other in an intangible way.) In an investigative manner, I find my acute awareness to any changes in my body fascinating. While my husband begs me “don’t wake the baby, that isn’t very nice, how would you like to be poked and prodded like that when trying to rest?”, (haha) I push my tiny bump around before bedtime seeing if I can get any movement from the little nugget …and to get an idea of where everything is settling down there. (I think I’ve felt some flutters and a wee little kick or two but nothing definitive yet.) I look down at my body in the shower and register emotions of both amazement and nervousness. Curves and sensitivity abound these days in places I am quite simply not used to. The routine of stretch oil on the belly pre-toweling off still catches me off guard. All these things piling up as the details of the moment. It’s almost paralyzing to me that one’s body can be such a vessel for new person. It literally takes my breath away…
I would be remiss if I didn’t say the next few months hold so much unknown to us as a family. In the most exciting of ways, the dreamlike mirages I see now of us strolling through Central Park on a Sunday morning will become a reality. Questions abound internally over the little one’s gender and personality and 10 perfect fingers and toes. What kind of mother do I want to be if we have a baby girl? How will I raise a future son to be the sensitive and family focused gentleman his father is to his core? How is it best to socialize with a baby and form new mom friendships where the conversation revolves around the best diapers and feeding techniques? I suppose I will do what has always felt right to me and that is just by living my way to the answers as they are unearthed. Developing our own set of must-haves and needs and rediscovering ourselves through the daily life of our child as parents…WOW. I wait with bated breath.
Life is now. This is the book of our times! In having conscious awareness of these present moments during this pregnancy and beyond, I believe I’m given a number of priceless gifts: reflective understanding, sweet memories, and joyous anticipation.
***Thank you, Sarah, for such an honest post about life before baby. I know I have been there, and the wonder never goes away while raising children! Make sure to check out Saturday’s Story. Sarah is an amazingly talented writer, and a beautiful momma to be—both inside and out!***