This week I have a lot on my mind.  Most of what is on my mind won’t be making it on the blog…but sometimes writing some of what’s bothering me, or exciting me can be a little form of therapy during a tough week.

• I started my practicum this week (!).  Today, actually.  I am following a developmental therapist this semester to many different homes with children ages 0-3 with many different types of delays and disabilities.  So far—I love it.  I’m pretty sure this is what I want to do in the future…so it is exciting to experience it first hand.

• For the first time since Charlotte was born I am “working” out of the house for two full days a week.  It has been such an incredible blessing to have been home with her for 16 months.  I do have to admit…that I had a hard time the day before my practicum started.  It may or may not be the pregnancy hormones…but I was very emotional.  I only then realized the blessing of being home with her most days, and the realization that many families aren’t able to do that.

• To go along with the pregnancy hormones I may or may not have had a small breakdown to one of my graduate school instructors.  I stayed after class to talk with her about something completely unrelated to the course material: Charlotte’s walking (or lack there of).  My instructor mentioned during class she has a daughter who didn’t walk until 18 months.  It was so encouraging and helpful to talk with another mom who went through the same emotions I am going through right now.  She was very encouraging, and I’m so thankful to have had the chance to talk with her.

• Charlotte now calls me “Fa-Fa”.  No idea how she got that out of “Ma-Ma” but right now this is what she calls me!  She also calls her Mimi “Fa-Fa” and our family dog, Reilly “Fa-Fa” too.  Ha!

• I should probably dedicate a whole blog post to this next one—but I need to stop taking things personally.  I’ve always been pretty sensitive, but I realized this week that I take some things to heart SO MUCH that sometimes the issue will paralyze me for a whole day and I end up getting nothing done and stick to worrying.  Letting go is a powerful thing…and I need to work on being able to let go and give it all to God.  I know a lot of people struggle with this, but it has been something that has been especially on my mind this week so I wanted to “let it go” on the blog ;).  

With all this “stuff” there are many more blessings in my life to go along with it all.  All I can do is move forward with an optimistic attitude and wake up on the RIGHT side of the bed—right?  

I know many of you in the blog world have read about Tripp Roth and his family.  Tripp suffered from a very rare skin disease called EB for his entire life.  This past weekend Tripp lost his battle and went to Heaven.  His mother Courtney prayed for peace for Tripp, and her prayers—although devastatingly sad— were answered.  Tripp was only 2 1/2 years old.  His mother shared Tripp’s life, and her amazing story of courage, heartbreak and the joy her son brought her each and everyday on her blog.  I know she and her family could use every prayer out there during this time.

http://randycourtneytripproth.blogspot.com/

After spending a few hours reading about Tripp and his family, I was overcome with a sense of heartache for his mother.  I felt every pang of guilt creep up on me for complaining about such little things: Charlotte’s whining, losing sleep, not having time to myself.  Courtney’s journey brought me back to my own reality and the incredible blessing we have.  We have a healthy, beautiful child.  When I put that into perspective, I realized nothing else matters in the big scheme of things.

What struck me the most was Courtney’s strong faith.  She prayed, and asked others to pray for her son to be at peace.  Of course—she misses him terribly and always will—but because of her faith she was able to let him go.  I don’t know if I could be that strong.

I don’t know the Roth family, and I have only just recently heard about their story.  I cannot imagine the life they have had to lead—but I know it was led with love for God and love for each other.  And that in itself— I can find common ground with and remember forever.

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the former things have passed away.”

-Revelation 21:4

• Woke up before the sun, anxious to start the day.  This used to be a normal occurrence for me, but morning (all day) sickness and exhaustion changed that.  I am happy to say there are more days I wake up feeling great in the past week.  Over the nausea hump??

• Was able to finally get my prenatal blood-work done, run a bunch of errands and tackle my to-do list.  All in the rain.

• Had Starbucks and breakfast with my mom and Charlotte.  We don’t get to do this often enough!

• Left Charlotte with my mom for a few (many) hours so I could run my errands and have some much needed “me time” before things get really crazy with my practicum, pregnancy and school.

• Stopped at Qdoba during said errands to satisfy my chips/guac/burrito craving.  I then felt guilty before I took the first bite and headed to the gym for the first time in awhile.  (It’s amazing how long it takes to get IN shape, and how quickly I can fall OUT of shape…)

• Oh yeah—and something else?  I saw our new baby for the first time.  Charlotte saw him/her too.  It was magical.  We saw everything: 2 arms, 2 legs, a little skeletal face, organs etc.  Everything is looking great and I feel so proud and happy.  I just can’t wait until Charlotte meets her little sibling to love and boss around.  This baby stuff really is a miracle, huh? :)